Shepherding a Child's Heart

I just read this book, and I highly recommend it. I don't agree with everything, but overall I really found it helpful. It's a book about raising kids. The main point is, you can't get stuck on changing behavior but instead you should look deeper into what is happening in the child's heart that is causing the behavior. It really impacts a lot when you can assess what is driving the behavior, have a conversation with the child about it, and then work to correct that heart issue.

Other things I found helpful -
1) Obedience should come without waiting, whining, or warnings (my summary.) Disobedience is an issue between the child and God because my authority represents God's authority. I felt convicted about not trying to control Kate's behavior but rather to focus on understanding her heart and temptations to correct her and restore her to blessings. Obedience rescues them and pulls them into safety - "Honor your parents that it may go well with you and you may enjoy long life, the first commandment with a promise." Proverbs 19:18 says, "Discipline a child for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to his death."
2) Another main point is that shepherding is about leading a child on a path of discovery of himself and the world. I loved the book's description that the main goal of parenting is setting the child up to know and love God, and that all you need to do is present the good news of Jesus and expect that they will be drawn to its attractiveness. Discipline itself sets them up to receive - we are all sinners in need of a savior. It also talked about striving for your kids in prayer - excellent.
3) Having clear goals for your kids - Primary focus is on knowing your child so you can develop a plan to draw out their strengths and address their weaknesses.
4) Children must see their inability to do what God requires without God's help and strength. Correction must hold to God's standard of righteousness which then turns them to the cross and God's grace. Appeal to their conscience so they indict themselves. Bring them to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners, then the mercy of God who sacrificed Jesus for them. Here we teach them that God is their only hope, not themselves.

There's a ton more, but those are my highlights. And it reads super fast - I had to stretch it to 3 days to let it sink in. It's got some good stuff.


And here's a pic of my two favorite cuties :)