Expectation

I'm definitely getting excited for Ellie's arrival. I had an experience the other day that really felt like a gift, so I thought I'd share.

Now that I really look pregnant, it's fun to get people's reaction. Of course it's nice to have people want to help you with things, like offer to carry something or open a door. But even better is when you can see that they are celebrating the joy of pregnancy with you. That's always cool, even from a stranger.

The other night, I went to Target to do some quick errands by myself around 8pm. (Aside - I was shocked at how many people had their little kids there, and then watched as they got frustrated that they weren't behaving - I wonder why!) Anyways, 3 times in the same trip, I interacted with people who were clearly excited for me. One woman was 25, she looked married, not yet ready for kids, but excited by the prospect. Another woman was 40 and was in the thick of raising her kids, and was excited about that newborn stage. The last woman was around 65, her kids were grown, and she looked at me with a fond remembrance and knowing joy of what was to come.

All of these women had an overwhelming look of love and joy in their eyes. They didn't know me at all, but they were excited by the expectation of a new baby.

My friend Josh, who some would say has a bit of a hard exterior, said recently when looking at his newborn son (his 5th child) that "babies are like crack to him." When I asked why, he said, "because this is as close as we are to perfection. So innocent and pure."

I can't say for sure what it was for each person, but there is something very exciting about the expectation of a newborn baby. It's a love that's very raw. While I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed logistically by the thought of a newborn, I am ready for that kind of love.